Nov 012015
 

Check out these wonderful arrangements; I’m sure you haven’t ever heard them. For starters, here’s this peculiar one.

The sudden alien pew-pew one

This one starts with the usual strings. As if we weren’t so tired of this stuff already. Yes, overall, it has been created with that well known, sleep inducing style in mind. Up to that point where those weird UFOs decide to ruin the drowsily almighty chill with their pew-pewing. Not only that, but the otherwise rather cute looking little aliens keep farting all over the place. Are they fukken nuts? Stop that shit already! Anyway, I’m sure you haven’t heard this arrangement before.

The exciting jazz arrangement

Those cheeky fuckers have gone now, you can come back. Check these cats layin’ it down like they mean it, man! Those drums don’t just keep knocking all over the place like a rabies-ridden two-stroke engine. And the horns, they aren’t getting into each other’s way like drunken cargo ships. And the piano! It plays interesting arpeggios, not just them high-brow block chords. Ones that manage to utilize more keys at once than the number of teeth a fucking shark grows. In its entire life. And the guitar! Man, it’s not muddy like a fluffy poodle in a puddle. And that bass, it’s not hidden behind all that crap with its out of tune thud. None of us have stumbled upon this kind.

Floral arrangement

alien floral music arrangement

“Flower Power” by J Shannon

It’s most certainly an eyeful. Look at those shapes, curves and colors. Look at those stems and leaves! Isn’t it marvellous, my friend? Can you smell this mesmerizing fragrance? No, from there you probably can’t. Oh well. Trust me, it smells a tad better than a piece of fine camembert. So all in all, these flowers fall on the nicer side of things indeed. But can you hear them?! Yep. Me neither.

The perfect one

Our fourth arrangement is the in-your-face kind. It kicks you in the ass with the dynamics of the bass drum and the bass line. It slaps you in the face with those perfectly placed guitars and keyboards in the midrange. All that without nasty overlaps! And if it wasn’t enough, the high end with the hi-hat, the subtle percussion and the meticulously planted cymbal hits are nothing but flawless. It is the perfect arrangement, in its truest and purest form. We have never heard it, and we never will. Live with it, grasshopper.

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